How is that a 14 year old kid can completely affect my mental state? Shouldn't I be the one that lets it roll off like water on a duck's back? I just absolutely cannot stand being disrespected in my classroom. It completely affects the way I teach, the way the students learn, and the flow of the class in general. It is absolutely disheartening to have someone tell me what they will and will not do, because it makes me feel like I am failing at getting through to that student. It does make me feel better, however, that I am by far not the only teacher (or adult, or human person in general) that this kid completely disrespects. That being said, today was both mentally and physically exhausting. I'm glad that it's almost bedtime, but I have a good bit of housework to do before I get to sleep.
Anyway, in good news, I have started Weight Watchers (again), and as of today, I have lost 7.6 lbs; 4 of those this past week. That's always good. I just hope that I can keep it up! :)
Losing weight is hard, and I find that I have some pretty unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, I think, I just want to say I'm on a diet, and wake up in the morning 50 lbs lighter. Pretty sure that's not going to happen, yet when it doesn't, I'm all disappointed. It's like I think my body should immediately become a miracle worker just because I've proclaimed the "d-word". Maybe watching Biggest Loser on tv has fueled that fantasy-world fire. I was talking with my friend today, and I found that we were speaking in terms of that show. The conversation went something like this:
Steph: "Well, we have weigh-in tonight. What do you think's going to happen?"
Me: "I really don't know. I think I made some good choices, but I don't feel like I did so hot. I think I could have done a lot better."
Steph: "I had a virus for 3 days, and I did nothing but vomit. I'm thinking that 3 days with no calorie intake is pretty good, but I'm afraid not eating and working out may have shut down my metabolism."
Me: "I'm sure you'll do ok. If not, it will probably catch up with you next week. Sometimes, we just have small losses, but then all your hard work catches up with. I think it's the week 2 curse." Steph: "I sure hope so.. I think I've lost about 3 lbs, but I just don't think that's going to be enough!"
Really?! What the hell? In what alternate universe is 3 lbs in a week not good? (For the record, she lost 3.6 -- almost the same as my 4.. and she had on courduroy pants and a sweater! I, on the other hand, changed shirts 3 times to find the lightest one before I went..)
Anyway, I'm hoping this time, I can gain some real insight, change my habits, and make my goal. I won't say what that is right now -- I'm not sure that I even know -- but I think with some patience, and some hard work, I will eventually get where I'm going.
*phew* Time to fold some clothes.
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