Dreamin' With Eyes Wide Open..

So, I've been having crazy dreams. Not your typical crazy dreams, such as wandering through a meadow not knowing where you're going, but kind of odd, people-related dreams. I feel immensely guilty about them, because they have been involving ghosts of boyfriends past, and I am (very) happily married for over two years now. But can I control my dreams? I don't think I can, when these people I've dreamt of haven't crossed my concious mind in who-knows-when..

Here's the rundown:

Dream #1 --
A week or so ago, I had the first dream. I was sitting on a couch in an unfamilar room. Medium-toned wood panelling, a green plaid couch.. kind of dimly lit. Coffee table directly in front of me, television in the room, to the right corner directly in front of the couch. Door to the right, Door and hallway to the left. I'm alone in this room. Suddenly, I start to recognize the room. The living room of a family whom I previously adored -- the family of my first high school boyfriend. I do not see his mother, but I feel her presence in the room. He enters from the hallway left, which I recognize as where his bedroom was. He doesn't speak. I do not speak. Dream sequence over.

Dream #2 -- 2 nights ago.
I enter another dimly lit room, different this time. I have an armful of dirty dishes, and I'm heading to what I would assume is the kitchen. I pass a living area, and on the couch, college boyfriend and what my mind has concocted to be his current girlfriend. She looks mean. I walk past them, they are watching tv. I begin to load the dishwasher. They do not notice me until I walk back through the living area. She's angry with me, and I begin to apologize for being there, explaining that we "share the dishwasher," and I do dishes here a couple of times a week.
Immediate fast-forward. I'm dusting a coffee table that appears to be my grandmother's, but in this dark, dungeon-like room.. previously referred to as living quarters. College boyfriend enters. He's happy to see me, but is obviously sneaking around. I realize I'm dusting this coffee table in a strapless dress. I'm thin. I look hot. The can of dusting spray bursts and soaks us like one of those carwash scenes in the movies. Dream sequence over.

Dream # 3 -- last night
I'm sitting in my parents' living room, with the old linoleum from several years ago, and old blue furniture from several years ago. High school boyfriend's mom is there. We're exchanging Christmas gifts. I'm given 4 boxes wrapped in red and gold metallic paper. I open one of them, and it is a gift from high school boyfriend's sister. It is a set of candles that fit together like puzzle pieces; they form a wreath. I only open one of the boxes, as each box contains part of the set. High school boyfriend is there, and he's on my parents' couch. He's angry, arms folded. I approach him, and I'm my high school self suddenly. He's his high school self suddenly, as well. I whisper something into his ear.. he begins to talk to me. No conversation is actually heard. We hug. He cries. Dream sequence over.

What. The. Hell?

LoUiSiAna

Oh, how I love this state!

In no other state, would men wear dresses to honor their hometown team as they go to the Superbowl.
http://www.nola.com/superbowl/index.ssf/2010/01/photos_buddy_d_dress_parade_pa.html

In other news, today was weigh-in. So, 5 lbs didn't fall off instantaneously at any point today, but I did better than I felt. I lost 1.6 lbs, which is better than none, which brought my 3 week total to 9.2 lbs. I am well on track to my month-span goal of 10 lbs, or an average of 2 lbs/week. I am hoping, in fact, to bypass that entirely, and keep up with my current average of 3.06 lbs per week. :) That makes me feel good.

It gets pretty frustrating, because I have been doing everything just right, adding some exercise, finding more reasons to get outside and move around, playing ball with my students at school.. and it just doesn't come off as fast as I (in my mind) think it should. I know it is a physiological process, but somehow, I want quick results. I know I've said so before, but it's still irritating. I just have to keep reminding myself over and over that I didn't gain 40 lbs in a month, and they're not going to come off in a month. I'm also never going to have immunity or a 2 lb pass... I just have to keep doing it the hard way. (And trust me, hard it is.) Kind of like that girl on the biggest loser the other day... "I really feel like just sitting on my butt and eating a cheeseburger."

Well, my friend, sitting on my butt eating a cheeseburger got me here in the first place, so I think I should probably stick with it...

Here goes nothing, for week 4.

Frustrations are Rising

I have been so proud of myself for sticking with Weight Watchers for the entire month of January. As of the last weigh in, I had lost 7.6 pounds. Tomorrow being weigh in day, I thought I would do a pre-weigh in here at home before dinner. I haven't had too much to eat today, so I thought "What better time than now?"

So, I stripped down to the bare minimum (a lot less than I was wearing at the WW meeting I can promise you,) and stepped on the scale. To my dismay, what did I see? The EXACT same weight that I saw last Tuesday.

This I know for sure: 5 lbs better magically fall off before 5:30 tomorrow. Ugh.