Today sucked. Plain and simple. Yeah, yeah.. I'm 25.. be more mature. Sorry, amigo. No can do.
Apparently, so I've heard, I'm a pretty lousy wife. I won't dispute this. By no means am I perfect in any aspect, and I am still learning at the wife thing. Yes, I screwed up. Sorry. Unfortunately, however, the hubby is not into speaking to me at the moment. In fact, he went to bed an hour ago. It's 6:30.
Furthermore, when I got to work this morning at 7:55 (with not a moment to spare,) I met a co-worker in the hallway. "Hey, did the bell ring?" "No...." "Who's out in the gym with Stephanie?" "Stephanie who?" "Clark." "Oh, I don't know.. Who's supposed to be?" "You are!" "Wait, what?!"
I was supposed to be at work at 7:15 this morning. At 7:15 I was still in the shower. I hate feeling like a dropped the ball, but luckily it was a rain day, and they went to the gym. They usually behave in there, because they sit down and go back to sleep.
Teacher of the year? Far cry from it. I let the kids listen to music today for about 30 minutes of their hour class periods under the guise of "lyric poetry." (Yes, we are actually in a poetry unit, but no that wasn't in my actual lesson plan.) Hey, it worked. They sat quietly, I worked on grading papers at my desk, we all got our fill of the Friday Flashback on Q93. But I digress...
Anyway, here's hoping that tomorrow is a better day. God knows it couldn't get much worse..
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Mental Exhaustion
How is that a 14 year old kid can completely affect my mental state? Shouldn't I be the one that lets it roll off like water on a duck's back? I just absolutely cannot stand being disrespected in my classroom. It completely affects the way I teach, the way the students learn, and the flow of the class in general. It is absolutely disheartening to have someone tell me what they will and will not do, because it makes me feel like I am failing at getting through to that student. It does make me feel better, however, that I am by far not the only teacher (or adult, or human person in general) that this kid completely disrespects. That being said, today was both mentally and physically exhausting. I'm glad that it's almost bedtime, but I have a good bit of housework to do before I get to sleep.
Anyway, in good news, I have started Weight Watchers (again), and as of today, I have lost 7.6 lbs; 4 of those this past week. That's always good. I just hope that I can keep it up! :)
Losing weight is hard, and I find that I have some pretty unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, I think, I just want to say I'm on a diet, and wake up in the morning 50 lbs lighter. Pretty sure that's not going to happen, yet when it doesn't, I'm all disappointed. It's like I think my body should immediately become a miracle worker just because I've proclaimed the "d-word". Maybe watching Biggest Loser on tv has fueled that fantasy-world fire. I was talking with my friend today, and I found that we were speaking in terms of that show. The conversation went something like this:
Steph: "Well, we have weigh-in tonight. What do you think's going to happen?"
Me: "I really don't know. I think I made some good choices, but I don't feel like I did so hot. I think I could have done a lot better."
Steph: "I had a virus for 3 days, and I did nothing but vomit. I'm thinking that 3 days with no calorie intake is pretty good, but I'm afraid not eating and working out may have shut down my metabolism."
Me: "I'm sure you'll do ok. If not, it will probably catch up with you next week. Sometimes, we just have small losses, but then all your hard work catches up with. I think it's the week 2 curse." Steph: "I sure hope so.. I think I've lost about 3 lbs, but I just don't think that's going to be enough!"
Really?! What the hell? In what alternate universe is 3 lbs in a week not good? (For the record, she lost 3.6 -- almost the same as my 4.. and she had on courduroy pants and a sweater! I, on the other hand, changed shirts 3 times to find the lightest one before I went..)
Anyway, I'm hoping this time, I can gain some real insight, change my habits, and make my goal. I won't say what that is right now -- I'm not sure that I even know -- but I think with some patience, and some hard work, I will eventually get where I'm going.
*phew* Time to fold some clothes.
Anyway, in good news, I have started Weight Watchers (again), and as of today, I have lost 7.6 lbs; 4 of those this past week. That's always good. I just hope that I can keep it up! :)
Losing weight is hard, and I find that I have some pretty unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, I think, I just want to say I'm on a diet, and wake up in the morning 50 lbs lighter. Pretty sure that's not going to happen, yet when it doesn't, I'm all disappointed. It's like I think my body should immediately become a miracle worker just because I've proclaimed the "d-word". Maybe watching Biggest Loser on tv has fueled that fantasy-world fire. I was talking with my friend today, and I found that we were speaking in terms of that show. The conversation went something like this:
Steph: "Well, we have weigh-in tonight. What do you think's going to happen?"
Me: "I really don't know. I think I made some good choices, but I don't feel like I did so hot. I think I could have done a lot better."
Steph: "I had a virus for 3 days, and I did nothing but vomit. I'm thinking that 3 days with no calorie intake is pretty good, but I'm afraid not eating and working out may have shut down my metabolism."
Me: "I'm sure you'll do ok. If not, it will probably catch up with you next week. Sometimes, we just have small losses, but then all your hard work catches up with. I think it's the week 2 curse." Steph: "I sure hope so.. I think I've lost about 3 lbs, but I just don't think that's going to be enough!"
Really?! What the hell? In what alternate universe is 3 lbs in a week not good? (For the record, she lost 3.6 -- almost the same as my 4.. and she had on courduroy pants and a sweater! I, on the other hand, changed shirts 3 times to find the lightest one before I went..)
Anyway, I'm hoping this time, I can gain some real insight, change my habits, and make my goal. I won't say what that is right now -- I'm not sure that I even know -- but I think with some patience, and some hard work, I will eventually get where I'm going.
*phew* Time to fold some clothes.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Tell Me 'Bout the Good Old Days..
I spent a few minutes this afternoon perusing the blogs that my friends and I updated regularly when we were in college.
I know this is supposed to be a new year, and on to new things, but sometimes you can't help but think about the past. It's fun, though sometimes heartbreaking, to reach back into a simpler time and see yourself as you were then. The snapshot of myself was circa spring 2006. I was beautiful.
It wasn't a physical image, but something I got to see in my thoughts and words, comments from and made to friends, blogs that friends had written that had included glimpses of the times we had spent together. I was just about to graduate from college (the first time) and the blogs detailed my escapades with classes, friends, theatre, job hunts, apartment searches -- a time that then was stressful, but I now look at with fondness. What I saw was a young, happy girl that was excited (if not a little scared) about the rest of her life. I saw friends that she loved, and that loved her, and supported her with everything they had. What an amazing time.
It makes me miss my friends like crazy. I can't believe that it has been essentially four years since I have seen or spent any significant amount of time with them. Sure, now I have new friends, but when people were such a part of your life and meant so much to you, it's hard not to long for those times, even when you know you can't have them back.
I know this is supposed to be a new year, and on to new things, but sometimes you can't help but think about the past. It's fun, though sometimes heartbreaking, to reach back into a simpler time and see yourself as you were then. The snapshot of myself was circa spring 2006. I was beautiful.
It wasn't a physical image, but something I got to see in my thoughts and words, comments from and made to friends, blogs that friends had written that had included glimpses of the times we had spent together. I was just about to graduate from college (the first time) and the blogs detailed my escapades with classes, friends, theatre, job hunts, apartment searches -- a time that then was stressful, but I now look at with fondness. What I saw was a young, happy girl that was excited (if not a little scared) about the rest of her life. I saw friends that she loved, and that loved her, and supported her with everything they had. What an amazing time.
It makes me miss my friends like crazy. I can't believe that it has been essentially four years since I have seen or spent any significant amount of time with them. Sure, now I have new friends, but when people were such a part of your life and meant so much to you, it's hard not to long for those times, even when you know you can't have them back.
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