Roots, Fruit, and Cracked Pots

I haven't updated lately; quite honestly I haven't felt that I've had much worth sharing. No one wants to read a laundry list of heartaches, hurts, complaints, and tears. I have my other outlets for dealing with those; blogging and social media aren't really the place. In short, it's been a rough 4-and-a-half months, and things don't seem to be getting any better. I'm ready to go back to school to get away from it all. Is that kind of sad?

It seems like, with me and with many others, the old adage is true: "When it rains, it pours." But how do you deal with that?

In my particular line of work, both professional and volunteer, being plagued by the hard times can make you feel at the best ineffective, and at worst, completely unworthy of the call. I knew I had those feelings deep down, but it didn't become truly apparent until this past Sunday. I was asked to fill in for the music director at church, which I've done loads of times over the years when it was his week of vacation. "Sure, no problem!" I told him 2 weeks ago. But Sunday morning, as I picked out hymns, I was reduced to tears at the thought of standing before the congregation. I felt like I had a a scarlet D plastered to my cardigan. But I struggled through it. I figured I'd given my word, but I was (uncharacteristically) a nervous wreck the entire time.

But a few minutes ago, I ran across this Bible verse,

 Jeremiah 17:7-8

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD. "For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit."

God assures us that if our trust is placed firmly in Him, then we have no reason to be anxious or afraid. I have made mistakes in my life, sure. Many things that have happened, the blame can be placed solely on me, and I take that responsibility. However, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I have not made the decisions that have put me in the stage of life I'm in at this moment. I have seen and felt God reaffirm this to me over and over by placing people in my life to speak His truths to me through word and deed. Though I am not totally blameless in this life, as no one is, I can be confident in knowing that my faith is rooted firmly in Christ, and therefore, I should not feel afraid or ashamed. I have felt unworthy as a teacher, a youth minister, and a role model, but Jeremiah 17:8... oh, Jeremiah 17:8. God promises that I will not cease to yield fruit!

Do you know how overwhelmed with joy that makes my soul? I've been so afraid that I would have to hide in a closet somewhere until I became worthy to serve, or  to make a difference. What lies the world tells us! God still has a purpose for me, though broken I might be right now. He still has a place for me to serve as long as my faith and trust are in Him! I rejoice in knowing that I am not a hopeless case. And I am reminded of  favorite professor of mine who used to say over and over, "We are all cracked pots! I'm a cracked pot! You're a cracked pot! But the thing about a cracked pot is.. the cracks allow the light of Christ to shine through as long as we don't try to cover 'em up." Oh, Jim Heath. You are a genius.

We live in a sinful world. Because of sin, bad things happen that are sometimes outside of our control. Sometimes, we are broken people. We are cracked pots. But that doesn't mean we have to be ashamed and hide those cracks. We have God's promise that we will not cease to bear fruit.

So, friends, now I ask: Has there been a time you've felt unworthy? What word has the Lord given you to change your heart? Has there been a time when He has shone through the cracks in your life?