Subconcious + Imagination = ....?



My beautiful girlfriends! Miss them!

My best friend and me!

What is with dreams? It seems like the weirdest concoction of memories mixed with a hearty dose of what can only be described as pure imagination blend and swirl together to make an alternate reality during those minutes spent in REM. And though REM sleep only lasts a short period of time, these dreams can seem like they envelope the entire night, dragging you through what could literally take hours or days in conciousness to accomplish.


They can also draw up and contort visions of the past. If anyone of you knew me during my college years, and the couple years following, you probably know I had some amazing friends, had a ton of adventures, and that I love and miss those friends and times dearly. You probably also know that my BFF was a dude, and we were generally inseperable. But, time and distance change things, and looking back I can see that we were in a weirdly co-dependent relationship. It was kind of psychotic really, and if I spoke to him today, I would probably apologize for being so dang... ugh. (Side note, he owes me a lot of apologies, too! I promise I wasn't the only crazy one in that relationship!) I should probably apologize to all of my other friends for that relationship, too, but there's not enough time in the world, and that's another post.
 

A lovely bunch of my friends and me at a college formal

Zoo escapades

 Anyway, this dream. I can't remember exactly what happened. That's the funny thing about dreams. As vivid as they are, and as much as you repeat to yourself throughout the dream that you will remember every last detail, you never do. I do remember a restaurant with a group of dear friends, and I remember reading a letter from said BFF. Actually, a letter to him, and a letter from him. In the dream, I could see each word printed on the page (literally, it was a print-out of an email,) and the letter from me described what I think would be exactly what I would say to him if I were to relay my current understanding of our former friendship. Only.. the letter took place during our final year of college.. so it's my current perspective, had I told him in the past. (I know, dreams are weird like that!) And the letter from him.. well, I found it shocking. It's not at all what I would have ever dreamed (haha pun intended) he would say to me.

Another formal

 Does that mean anything? I have no idea. Why am I even dreaming about this? Do I need closure from this former friendship? I mean, we didn't split on bad terms. My goodness, we grew up, we grew apart, we married our fantastic spouses, we moved away, started careers..

Alaskan adventure with one of my best pals! (yeah,
we climbed that mountain barefoot!)

Dreams perplex me.


Subconcious + Imagination = Simply Confusion.


Reasons to Smile :)

Anonymous once said, "Nobody cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." That Anonymous was a smart guy.

Since my last post was fairly... horrible.. I decided that today should be a post about things that make me smile. Big things, little things.. it doesn't matter. They just have to make me smile. So, in no particular order, with or without explanation, here they are:

1.) My God. Pretty self explanatory, but when things seem dark, He always has a way of giving clarity, even if it's just for a split second.

2.) Football. I love a crisp autumn night surrounded by the sounds of fans cheering, lights buzzing.. I love the smell of the damp, fresh cut grass, the smoke from the grill, and the distinct scent of buttery popcorn. I love the "Let's... Go.. Tigers.. Let's Go!" chants in syncopated rhythm, and the crash of helmets and pads on the field. I love feeling my heart race as my favorite team nears the goal line, and even the sinking "woosh" of air from my lungs when a key pass is dropped. I love knowing that you win some, you lose some, but it doesn't determine your worth or importance. I.LOVE.THIS.GAME.

3.) Keith. :) He takes good care of me, even when I don't feel I need taking care of. (Yes, I know, I ended a sentence with a preposition.)

4.) Good grammar.

5.) My family - they're always supportive, even if sometimes slightly irritating, and they always know what to say when I need them to say it.

6.) My friends -- although I don't consider myself to have many true, true friends, I am blessed beyond measure to have the ones that I do. I am also incredibly blessed to have an entire community of sweet, and supportive acquaintances, who although I don't see them often, never cease to amaze me in times of need of encouragement, love, and acceptance. I may not know my "acquaintances" well, but they are special.

7.) My puppy girl, Asa. Her sweet bark lets me know that I was missed after a long day, and when she bowls me over and nearly knocks me down when I come through the gate, I know it's because I am loved. :)